Adani Approved – Vegans Busier than Ever


Vegans blame Jupiter’s retrograde for their busiest time in recent memory – as an unseasonable plethora of reasons to protest hits at the same time in a 2-day window.

With Adani clearing its final regulatory hurdle, most of Australia’s skinny vegans are wishing they ate meat to garner the strength to chain themselves to dozers to prevent the sorely needed Carmichael Coal mine project from progressing in Northern Australia. Everyone else north of Brisbane is cheering and cracking open an affordable cask of wine to celebrate what has been a needlessly arduous process to get a common-sense coal mining project off the ground, in an economically depressed part of Australia.

Waleed Aly is sharpening his disapproving stare for what promises to be an action-packed The Project tonight. Environmental Minister, Melissa Price will no doubt need to answer his ill-informed and irrational questions about why Adani’s ground-water plans were ultimately approved.

The guys in TV production at The Project are busily animating pictures of Australia’s Great Barrier Reef to support the segment. Of course including photos of the bleaching that is caused by Crown of Thorns starfish and is in no way related to the Adani project, but are popular with lefties trying to claim that Adani’s Carmichael Coal will destroy the reef. They aren’t that hard to find – just log into Facebook.

After staging a pile of ‘sit ins’ in public spaces (presumably because standing for long periods of time isn’t an option for them), vegans across Australia will have to slam a wheatgrass shot and rally. To add to their busy schedule, they’re now needed to make a big pointless noise about Carmichael Coal going ahead. Without them, The Guardian and the ABC will literally have nothing to report because they refuse to film, or interview, the millions of Australians who back this project and the economic stimulus it will provide to most Queenslanders.

So with today’s federal approval of the mine pertinent – vegans have to down-tools harassing innocent and beleaguered farmers for their role in servicing demand from meat-eating humans (as the apex predator on planet earth). Instead they need to rush back to the town squares of Sydney and Melbourne, thousands of kilometres from the Bowen Basin, to complain about the desecration of coal mining. All despite having never been to a coal mine, nor a coal mining town, never having met a coal miner or a supplier to the coal industry.

Just imagine how much we’d all get done, if it wasn’t for the conscience of these wonderful, plant-eating peace makers…


Image source: ABC

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