Two Muppets Hug-it-Out, Congratulate Selves for Getting Job Done..


Funds for the $3b Vic road East-West Link have been reallocated to 40 infrastructure projects.

At iSeekplant - we've recently implemented a swear-jar (mostly intended to get me to stop me from speaking like a stevedore), so in that vein, we have relabeled the concept of a 'cluster-&$%#' to a 'multiple-stakeholder-failure' or M.S.F. When someone in here choofs something really hard (which thankfully they don't do with too great a regularity), we now say it's a M.S.F.

The East-West Link has easily been the most prolific M.S.F in Australian infrastructure history. And now - the muppets or 'stakeholders' responsible, after 3 straight years of arguing, have agreed on what they will spend their infrastructure spend on, all-the-while not a single job, not a single contract, not a single ounce of economic stimulus has occurred as result of their dumb carpark-glove-slapping stand-off.

After three years of righteous navel-gazing and peacockery between Daniel Andrews, Victorian Premier, and an endless revolving door of Prime-Ministers, Victoria has been given a massive $3 billion injection this week. The federal and Victorian governments have come to an agreement on a $3 billion Victorian Infrastructure Package previously allocated to Melbourne's scrapped East-West Link project that will now unlock critical funding for key infrastructure projects across the state.

Hapless-but-ridiculously-handsome Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull announced that the federal government's $1.5 billion share of the East-West Link project would be matched by state funding of $1.5 billion and spent on more than 40 road and rail projects. Mr Turnbull said the federal funding had been sitting unused since the Andrews Labor government decided not to go ahead with the East-West Link, clearly throwing shade in Andrew's direction.

It was sitting there not creating one job, not relieving congestion," he told reporters in Melbourne. "We have broken the deadlock."


Malcolm Turnbull, also clearly proud of himself for doing something, said this multi-billion dollar package will improve access to our road networks, jobs and economic hubs. And hold-the-phone iSeekplant agrees with him. It's better for everyone that the money is spent on many projects across the state - as this will benefit more people and drive better growth.

The government will be investing the funds to reduce congestion as Victorian population increases - this includes $1 billion of upgrades to the Monash Freeway to ease traffic congestion.

Minister for Infrastructure and Transport, Darren Chester has said some of the key projects that will be allocated funds are the following:

Commuters will experience the benefits in the long term with efficiencies - allowing people to do business or get to work quicker.


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Sources: Sky News, News Limited, Commonwealth of Australia, ABC News, Darebin Council, VicRoads, Sarah Henderson 2016.

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