Penguin 4.0 is here, idiot.

Penguin

We flip the bird (pun intended) to whoever has targeted our website with 2 years of negative S.E.O. – as Google renders this kind of nonsense pointless with upgrade Penguin 4.0.

I don’t usually flap my mouth about the headaches of being a technology company. No one gives a toss about our champagne problems anyway. Not when you consider what our customers have been through over the last two years.

But today, I’m getting up on my Telsa-built-autonomous-mo-lo-so-integrated-hover-board (formally soap box) to celebrate being a tech-company founder who has played it straight, and who fortune (aka, Google) has finally favoured.

For 3 years now, our business has been targeted by ‘wood ducks’ leveraging the lack of legislative protection for technology businesses from digital vandalism, negative SEO attacks, DDoS and various other scandalous activity intended to hamper our growth. They have succeeded only in mildly annoying us, like a tiny pebble in your shoe, you keep charging on like the group of relentless legends we are.

We’ve not retaliated with this kind of bollocks for two reasons – because our number one company value is to ‘be a good bloke’ and secondly, if you’re wearing the yellow jersey, what’s the point? Let the rest of the bikes behind you crash into each other.

iSeekplant-Social-Follower-Ebook

For the uninitiated – a negative SEO attack was something you could do to affect your competitor’s ‘trust metrics’ in the eyes of Google, dropping their ranks lower and reducing their traffic. A ‘wood duck’ used to be able to pay some goose in Manilla to build links to a competitor’s website on dodgy sites (porn, violence, Chinese websites etc) so that Google penalises that competitor’s site for creating spammy links, subsequently reducing their ranks in the search engine results. You’ve probably already fallen asleep during that description and it's obviously more complicated than that.

Let me summarise: it’s the digital equivalent of vandalism – like spray painting a shop front, decreasing the number of customers that walk through a shop front’s door. Except you can usually find the meth-head who did it, charge them with a criminal offense and put them in jail. With negative SEO attacks however, they are somewhat difficult to trace and usually cross international borders, meaning there's more effort required for the boys-in-blue.

Whoever is behind this obviously think they are gangster/baller enough to play a dirty game, because they read somewhere online that Uber and Lyft do it to each other in the ‘Silicone Valley’. But what is truly glorious about Google’s algorithm is that it keeps us all guessing and the activity we pay thousands of dollars intended to either to improve our own ranks or tarnish a competitors’, can be rendered useless in five seconds with one swift algorithm update. This update happened to us on Sunday.

Well, a badass chubby flightless bird has waddled into town called Google Penguin 4.0 – meaning that poor quality links don’t count anymore and there is no such thing as penalties for spammy link building – or that penalties are removed in real-time. This kind of nefarious activity is now wasted effort, and any impact on our domain has lifted, causing our ranks to rush to the front of the line in a matter of 48 hours. Even with a possible penalty applied we outrank some our competitors across millions of keywords by a margin of about 30%. Since Penguin came to town, we are seeing the fastest growth in our user base in our company’s history. Over 10% organic growth month-on-month, 15% increase in hire contract volume from last month, 22% increase in hire calls.

So, we hope you spent a fortune on this wasted endeavour.

We’ve always maintained at iSeekplant that if you play the game straight and just do good work, if you’re nice to your customers, lead the pack and only look to the horizon.... all you’ll see is happy little penguins...

Wood duck then looks to the horizon and sees happy penguins too. “Hang on”, wood duck says to himself, shocked. “Is one of those penguins giving me ‘the ups’?”

That penguin sure is wood duck. It sure is.

 

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